The Inconveniences of a Secret Identity Part 2

Now I have already done a thorough job of exploring the many downsides of a double life in a previous entry (see here) and after thinking on the subject I realized there were several additional inconveniences that I had not included. So in a momentous first I am doing a sequel to that first entry. I present to you, The Additional Inconveniences of a Secret Identity.

Sitting around my apartment I was watching the latest episode of Arrow and they showed a scene of him sewing up a wound on his shoulder. By himself and without anesthesia. And this is a perfect example of a problem of the secret identity. Medical care. You can’t just waltz into an ER if you are a costumed hero and still expect to keep your identity a secret. Unless you have a trusted confidant like Batman has with Alfred, you’re going to have to take care of your wounds yourself. Now maybe if you are near death and an Avenger you can get Doctor Strange to save your life, but for the basic scrapes and injuries a hero receives in the line of duty, you’re on your own. And how do you explain those scars anyway? There are only so many accidents a person can have before you are labeled a sadist by the company gossip around the water-cooler.

And to go along with the question of injuries, where is the hero sewing up these wounds and treating these injuries? Well, most heroes have a secret lair from which they base their crime fighting endeavors. But how do they keep this place a secret? For the most part these bases are fixed geographic locations. No one ever notices the hero heads in the same direction when they’re done saving the day? Batman drives around in the Batmobile and yet no one has noticed the Batmobile using the same road in and out of Gotham City. The Sixties TV show version of the Batmobile was pretty hard to miss. And today we have traffic cameras at nearly every intersection. Someone would have noticed this car heading down a back road.

Speaking of the Batmobile, I don’t know about you but I am terrible with cars. And my car is pretty low maintenance. The Batmobile, in many incarnations, is essentially a tank. You can’t just perform a simple oil change and get it running good as new. You need to perform complex maintenance on it. Now Batman is already fighting crime, running a company, maintaining a cover identity, building his crime fighting arsenal and following up on criminal leads. Add automobile maintenance on top of that and one has to wonder when he ever would have time to sleep and workout so he stays in tiptop condition. Not only does Batman have to be a master detective and martial artist but apparently he has to be an expert in time management as well.

It probably seems like most of these inconveniences involve non-powered heroes, but there are inconveniences for powered heroes as well. Mainly that they have super powers. Now you may be wondering what is so bad about having powers. Well nothing, except when you realize that everyone else around you doesn’t. Superman is walking around on crowded streets with ordinary humans while he has steel hard skin. I would think it would like a normal person walking around a bunch of hemophiliacs with severe calcium deficiency. If you bump into one they will just bleed to death and their bones will shatter. Clark Kent has to be so extremely careful when he is out about the regular humans. If he accidently bumped into someone he could unintentionally murder him or her. He can’t even breathe among them because it has been established he has super breath. If he sneezes it could be like hurricane force winds.

Plus many super powered heroes have a specific weakness to their powers. Someone should notice if Clark Kent gets squirrely around a chunk of Kryptonite. Same with J’onn J’onz (Martian Manhunter) if he ever gets around an open flame. That should make it hard to keep a civilian identity a secret. Even more than just being careful around normal people, you have to be careful not to encounter these random items. Everything about being a super powered hero involves tiptoeing and walking on eggshells.

 

The secret identity will always be a part of the super hero mythos. Same as capes, powers and archenemies. But as the genre evolves hopefully they can find new ways to make this old trope interesting and not have fans like me scratching their heads about why someone who was special wouldn’t want to be special full time.