The Benefits of Toxic Waste

As a liberal one might think that I am an environmentalist. But as a comic book geek I have seen many examples of the potential benefits of radiation and toxic waste, which are things that I have been taught to demonize. But were it not for these harmful and dangerous substances, many of my favorite heroes and villains would have never come into being.

First off, Radiation. Nearly all of the Marvel super heroes would not exist were it not for radiation. The Hulk? Gamma radiation. The Fantastic Four? Cosmic radiation. Spider-Man? Bitten by a radioactive spider. Even the X-Men are referred to as the Children of the Atom, implying that their mutations are primarily due to radiation. And Stan Lee, the creator of all these characters, has admitted as much in multiple interviews. These characters were all created in the 1960s where fear of a nuclear war was at an all time high. Radiation had this mysterious quality to it and it had been portrayed in films as creating giant ants or irradiated lizard creatures (Gojira AKA Godzila) so of course this magical force would be applied to the concept of super heroes.

And where would Daredevil and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (who shockingly share an origin story) be were it not for the reckless disposal of toxic waste? Sure the exposure to toxic chemicals blinded young Matt Murdock, but it also enhanced his senses and allowed him to be a hero. And obviously blindness did not impede Matt Murdock from living a productive life, as he was able to become a successful and respected lawyer. And the Turtles would still be pooping in some kid’s aquarium were it not for the dose of toxic waste that mutated them.

Now there are downsides to these substances. For every comic book hero they create they also create nearly a dozen villains. I already explored how scientists in comic books suck at their jobs (see here) and so many villains started out as scientists. Doctor Doom, Mr. Freeze, The Lizard, Doctor Octopus, Poison Ivy, and many more became villains after working with unsafe chemicals that altered them in some way or another. Not to mention characters like The Joker and Two-Face who also become villains after exposure to unsafe chemicals. Exposure that could have easily been avoided if these harmful substances were not easily accessible. But while the creation of these villains is a downside for the fictional world they inhabit, it is a boon to us because we can enjoy the exploits of the heroes stopping these terrible victims of industrial accidents.

 

Even Superman is not immune to the power of toxic waste. The Man of Steel’s most famous weakness is Kryptonite. But if we are to look at the comics, Kryptonite IS Toxic Waste. They are irradiated chunks of his home planet Krypton. Since the planet was destroyed, technically the discarded chunks of planet could be classified as “waste”.  Kryptonite has become synonymous with the word “weakness”, almost as famously as “Achilles heel”. And toxic waste is killing us all so it seems appropriate.

"I have cancer and I feel fine."

While the realm of comic books is full of people who got amazing abilities from radiation and toxic waste, sadly we have yet to encounter someone in the real world. So far all we’ve seen is cancer and painful death.  While I for one am all for pursuing research into science that could give humans super powers, I am firmly anti-cancer. Cancer has never benefitted anyone. Even the cancer that is not terminal and can be treated is still a plight on humanity. And so we should try our hardest to do away with things we know that can cause cancer.