1.)
TimeCop
The scientific premise in TimeCop
is that the same matter cannot occupy the same point in time. This is shown in
the film when the villain is shoved into his younger self and becomes some sort
of bizarre puddle of goo before fading out of existence. But, here’s the thing,
you are not made up of the same matter as your younger self. The human body is
constantly wrecking and rebuilding itself, sloughing off damaged and old cells
and creating new ones. Roughly ever ten years you basically become a whole new
person, with none of the same matter that made up your body previously. It’s a
whole new you every ten years. So when old villain touched his younger self,
nothing would have happened.
2.)
Lucy
The 10% of our brains myth has been out there for a long
time. The idea that humans are only using a fraction of their brain’s full
potential is a popular one in science fiction. We’d all like to think if we
could just unlock 100% of our brain we’d get amazing powers. Hate to break it
to everyone, but you’re using 100% right now just trying to read this sentence.
The human brain is always working, using all the bits and pieces of its
hemispheres to perform the many tasks needed for you to live. If you only used
ten percent of your brain, you’d be some kind of drooling mess lying on the
floor.
3.)
A.I.
I’m sure I covered this well in a previous entry (read here) but it is worth repeating. A
robotic boy is just a dumb invention. The joy of children is to watch them grow
and mature. You are helping your offspring (or your adopted children) become
the best person they can be. To watch them have accomplishments and triumphs of
their own and perhaps even one day watching them have children of their own. A
child that is incapable of growing or maturing, mentally or physically is
completely pointless. David in A.I. is a child and even after spending a
thousand years (seriously, a THOUSAND YEARS) of life is still a child.
4.)
Armageddon
This is not so much a defense of science but of scientists.
When a giant asteroid is about to hit the earth NASA is tasked with coming up
with a plan to deal with it. And they got nothing. We see a fun little montage
of NASA employees trying to come up with a plan to deal with this world
threatening disaster. And all their ideas are shit. We see one bad idea after
the next, each being shot down by Billy Bob Thorton’s character, the head of
NASA. Finally they need to get a bunch of rough and tough oil drillers to blow
up the asteroid. Now my problem is that this is NASA. These are the smartest
people in the country. They should have had a dozen GOOD plans to deal with
this kind of threat just lying around already. It’s not like this is a threat
no one could possibly conceive of. The dinosaurs would tell us that is not the
case. So for a plan to be just thrown together at the last minute seems kind of
insulting to brilliant men and women of our nation’s space agency.
5.)
The Stepford Wives
I’ll be honest, I never saw the original. I only ever saw
the remake starring Matthew Broderick and Nicole Kidman. And it is this version
of the film that causes me to have many questions about the central premise of
this film. If you’re not familiar, Matthew Broderick and Nicole Kidman move to
the town of Stepford where all the wives act like perfect June Cleaver drones
that do whatever their husbands want. Now at first it seems like the wives are
completely robotic (there is a scene where one wife spits out a roll of dollar
bills like an ATM so I kind of hope they are robotic). But the end of the movie
(SPOILERS) involves Matthew Broderick shutting down the central mainframe and
all the wives reverting to the annoying nagging individuals that inspire their
husbands to turn them into robots in the first place. But here’s the thing, why
would you even keep that part of the personality if you’re turning your wife
into a robot? The only explanation is that they are not robots and are instead
under robotic control. But again, why did the one wife dispense money? This
seems like a case of bad science rising out of bad writing.
6.)
Johnny Mnemonic
Before he was Neo in The Matrix, Keanu Reeves was the
titular Jonny Mnemonic. Living in a dystopian future, Jonny is a courier who
transports highly classified computer information. How does he do this? He copies
the information to his brain. Like a section of his memory is dedicated to
storing computer information. Apparently he gave up the memories of his
childhood in order to do this. The problem in this movie is that he downloads
more information than his brain can handle and he needs to upload it soon or he
will die. First of all, why would anyone use their brain as a hard drive. The
brain is a soft fleshy thing that is easily damaged if you are stuck hard with
a blunt object. Second, why would you download MORE info than your brain can
handle? And THIRD, HOW do you download more information than brain can handle?
The human brain can hold a shitload of information. Just think of all the
movies, music, TV, experiences, sensory info that you have experienced in your
life. Unless you are downloading the complete library of congress and still
have room left over.
7.)
Gamer
What purpose is there to have real people in a video game?
Honestly, to me most of the appeal of video games is that they are complete
fantasy. They show me worlds that cannot exist and allow me as the player to
perform deeds that are impossible based on the reality we live in. Why would I
want to control someone who is for all intents and purposes human? Sure there
is a heightened level of difficulty. I can’t just reset and start over. But
that seems like a sad waste of life. Also, as shown in the movie, there are
times when the control of the player can be interrupted and the character can
take over. I would hate if in the middle of a game of Super Mario Bros. if
Mario decided he didn’t want to jump any more.
8.)
Demolition Man
Why would you want to let criminals live to see the future?
The whole point of prisons is to remove the negative members of our society
from the rest of us. I think I covered this subject in a previous blog entry (see here) but it bares repeating. Why
keep criminals in suspended animation only to release them on a future society?
There are people who are actually spending large sums of money in the vain hope
they can stave off death and awake in a glorious future. And these criminals
are being given that opportunity for free. As shown in the movie Demolition
Man, the future is pretty much a crime free zone (ruled by a totalitarian
government, but still). Ideally we all hope that the problems of the present
will somehow be solved in some theoretical future (I’m hoping for Star Trek).
The one thing that could probably ruin this scenario are people from the past,
a less civilized society, being unleashed on this perfect utopia and ruining
it. Which is exactly what would happen. Regardless of how much mental
programming was performed (just because you can knit does not mean you will
behave).
9.)
Repo Men
Why would you get an artificial organ if you could be killed
any second for it? In the movie Repo Men, people lease an artificial organ to
replace the failing one they lost to disease/drinking/whatever. But the catch
is that they have to continue to pay for the privilege of having this
artificial organ. Otherwise someone will come to your house and cut that organ
out of you, essentially murdering you. And the Repo Men (hence the title of the
movie) are not dainty with how they take those organs back. One scene has a guy
cutting another guy open with a carving knife in the back of a cab. And they
will stab, shock and beat you to get those organs back. Personally I would
rather die in a hospital than be gutted by some psychopath. 
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