Everything I Hate About Being A Screenwriter

I’ve worked very hard towards trying to be a screenwriter. Went to school, read lots of scripts, seen lots of movies, and I’ve loved all of it. I honestly can’t see anything I could ever rather do with my life. But despite all the joy I get from it there are things about screenwriting that I absolutely hate. Hate with the burning hatred of a thousand white-hot suns. And while I don’t want to ever seem like I am complaining, I certainly feel the need to vent.

1.)  The Blank Page

Talk to any writer and they will probably all agree that this is the worst thing about the screenwriting process. Sitting down to start a brand new script and seeing a white void staring back at you is the most disagreeable feeling ever. I hate this part of the writing process. Rewriting and editing my work or coming up with the initial idea, those are fun and enjoyable parts of the process. But writing that first initial draft? I hate that. Realizing that I am starting on a script that I will end up spending months on and after a week having only a few measly pages to show for it can be extremely depressing.

2.)  Explaining my script

One of the big things I learned in film school was how to pitch a project. Coming up that perfect logline that you can slap on a letter or shoot in an email or even just say in a brief meeting. It’s a valuable skill that I’m glad I learned. Unfortunately it does no good when talking to non-film people. Film people are prepared for a pitch. And certainly if you are meeting with someone you have a pitch prepared. But when you’re just socializing at a cocktail party back home (where no film people are) that perfect pitch just becomes a staggering mess.

3.)  “I’ve got a great idea for a film you should write...”

If I needed ideas for scripts I wouldn’t have become a screenwriter. I honestly have more ideas for scripts to write than I actually will ever have time to write. Now of course if a producer is paying me for work-for-hire stuff then yes, please tell me your idea. I will gladly write a story about your dog if there is a paycheck involved. But for the most part I like writing MY ideas. They make me passionate and want to get the ideas down on paper. If YOU have a great idea for a story, then YOU should write it. You’re obviously excited enough about the idea to ask me to.

4.)  Rejection by Omission

This may sound weird, but I actually don’t mind rejection letters. It’s part of the game. And they are always polite, often encouraging. What I hate is when I send out a query letter and get no response at all. While a rejection letter is a clear answer, spending day after day waiting for a response about a particle script is infuriating. Because as far as I know, these people still want to read my script. But they haven’t asked for it yet so I can’t send it to them. And it isn’t like they are trying to save money on postage. I include and phone number and email address with every query letter I send (for which I DID waste postage on). The least they can do is give me a polite “No Thanks.”

5.)  “THEY STOLE MY IDEA!”

I have never actually accused any one of stealing an idea I had, but I have uttered that phrase many times. The simple truth is, as clever as most people usually think they are, the old phrase “Great minds think alike” is sadly very true. There are only so many ideas floating around the Ether and some people are going to beat you to them. The Muses are sparse with their gifts. I can’t get mad about it. I just get annoyed when I put a lot of work into something and then see someone else (who probably put in just as much work, if not maybe more) got his/her idea on the big or small screen before me.

6.)  Distractions

On a good writing binge I can usually get between five and ten pages done in a two hour period. That can mean I can get a solid first draft done in a few weeks. The problem is getting to that writing period. Suddenly everything becomes more important than writing. Books on my shelf scream to be read. The most amazing shows can be found on TV. And I have never felt a stronger urge to clean. Basically when I want to write I find myself wanting to do ANYTHING BUT write. Like many writers at some point I have come to the realization that there will never be the opportune perfect conditions to write. I just need to write. This is why I usually try to get into a routine so I know that when I do X it means it is time to write.

There are probably a plethora of other things I can think of that bother me about writing. As I type this I am sitting at Starbucks and the family sitting at the table across from me didn’t buy coffee and got frozen yogurt from next door. That really grinds my gears. But that’s part of the experience. Getting over all this minor nuisances and annoyances and eventually producing a creative work. For every little hurdle I encounter it just makes everything that more satisfying when I get over that hurdle and produce a piece of work. The more difficult it is to write, the more proud I am that I managed to write it.