Martian Manhunter: Ultimate Pickup Artist

This is one of my more bizarre thoughts about comics and super heroes. Unfortunately I blame my misspent youth for this entry, because this is something I thought of quite a lot in high school. Which super hero would have the easiest time getting girls? Ergo, which hero would I have most liked to be. Now there are many worthy candidates but after careful examination the best choice for me is The Martian Manhunter.

Okay, for those who aren’t familiar, The Martian Manhunter is a martian (duh) named J’onn J’onz (John Jones) who is stranded on earth after an experimental teleportation beam plucks him from his home and then explodes. In addition to the teleporter breaking, the scientist who invented the beam had a heart attack, further dooming J’onn to a life stuck on earth. He adopts a human identity (Detective John Jones) and fights crime (which was his profession on Mars as well) until the revelation of Superman inspires him to adopt a super hero identity as the Martian Manhunter.

As a Martian, J’onn has any number of amazing powers. He can fly, has super strength (comparable to Superman), heat vision, and density manipulation (he can become intangible and walk through walls). He also has two other important abilities and these are what make him the ultimate pickup artist. Shapeshifting and telepathy.

 Why are shapeshifting and telepathy the best super powers to pick up women (or guy if you sway that way) with? Put simple, you can be the perfect date. Telepathy, the ability to read minds, allows you to learn everything about your potential date. Their likes, dislikes, what their ideal date should look like. You can perfectly prepare yourself to completely charm your date.

And, should you desire someone who is particularly shallow, shapeshifting allows you to turn yourself into whatever your date would desire. Does the girl of your dreams like tall guys? Blondes? Muscular? You can shapeshift into anything.

The only drawback to being the Martian Manhunter is his weakness. J’onn Jonz, like all Martians, has a debilitating physical and mental problem with fire. Exposure to fire causes his cell structure to completely lose all cohesion. I believe in the comics they explain it as being a purely psychological weakness due to the fact that Martians worship a fire god. But all that means is no candle light dinners.